Where is the hickey?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
