I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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