I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
