Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
