She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize