At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
