Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
