i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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