we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I know her cup size but not her name....
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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