just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
