I cockslap morals
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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