was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
