I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
