i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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