I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
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