my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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