I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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