how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize