I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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