I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
