even my farts smell like vagina
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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