If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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