He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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