Need sex. Gaining weight.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
