why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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