You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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