"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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