I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
