do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
