how can u be prego again
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize