Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
My ATM looks so different sober.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
