Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
