This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
