I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
even my farts smell like vagina
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
