dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
