Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
