with your own penis?
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
