Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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