me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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