so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
