I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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