For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Randomize
