get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
