It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
