no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize