I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Randomize
