I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
