I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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