I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
