Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
